tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49473922486833105192024-02-07T20:33:27.547-06:00Allergic 2 BullshitAny topic, assertion, opinion, conclusion or advice, dissected, analyzed and exposed for what it really is, in an unpopular yet distinct fashion.<br><br>
--- For Entertainment purposes Only ---Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947392248683310519.post-39809506512417383242010-03-08T17:51:00.092-06:002010-03-08T19:50:15.484-06:00Stupidity is the Mother of Innovation<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">Innovation<br /><br /></span><div><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">–noun</span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">1.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;"> something new or different introduced: </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">numerous innovations in the high-school curriculum.</span></span></div><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">2.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;"> the act of innovating; introduction of new things or methods.</span></div></div></div><br />The word "innovation" shares some similarities with the word "accident". When someone hears "accident" it immediately conjures up visions of something bad in the listener's mind. The phrase "happy accident" might be uttered by someone who's glad a big calamity did not befall her rather than show she's ecstatic about something.<br /><br />The word "innovation" - or various forms of it - is always used as a positive. As in "He always designs innovative products", for instance. As the dictionary meaning goes, that means "He" designed something new or different. HTF do you design something old or already done? I guess my obituary is probably going to say "He was a bad innovator". Is that supposed to be a politically correct insult?<br /><br />At the risk of stating the obvious, we don't go and buy a new product just because it is new. Sorry, I should have said we shouldn't, not we don't, because we actually and unfortunately do exactly that. As per the definition in the dictionary, "new" is "innovative" and vice versa. One could also use the word "original" I suppose. However it is important to remember that stupidity can also be original, and where I come from, the very original stupidity I encounter day in and day out never ceases to amaze me. There is no limit to the number of ways in which idiots can design products. As Einstein once famously put it, he was darn sure about the limitlessness of human stupidity but not the universe.<br /><br />I'm prompted to write this blog entry to rant about a particular chain letter - okay, spam - email that has been making the rounds of late. Normally I ooh and aah and / or snicker and / or pooh pooh such emails all the way to the spam folder or the trash bin depending on how lazy I'm feeling. Given the interesting times we live in - higher unemployment, lower wages, less benefits, looming inflation, etc. - I am making an exception. I believe it is important to inform the populace at large how certain mortals are retaining their livelyhood and growing their careers, but not their intellectual capacity.<br /><br />Without further ado, I give you some gems from amongst the most innovative (sic) products for 2010.<br /><br /><br /><u>nPower Personal Energy Generator</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsVpQ_j1SZcR2XXUwj9FUKtmLyNrM7dj293IKAk8rCe1e_Ev0p6Y1Ba464TgGHlLoXV_rw4uvjZVphi5q8O6DMlLRimmEWVoz_F7CpzfveREw6mjq2coLlyPI_ZVDkPFm-GM-nbNAx30C_/s1600-h/nPower.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 382px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsVpQ_j1SZcR2XXUwj9FUKtmLyNrM7dj293IKAk8rCe1e_Ev0p6Y1Ba464TgGHlLoXV_rw4uvjZVphi5q8O6DMlLRimmEWVoz_F7CpzfveREw6mjq2coLlyPI_ZVDkPFm-GM-nbNAx30C_/s400/nPower.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446417305736929346" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : The PEG harvests one of the biggest energy hogs on earth - You. Place the little device into your bag or briefcase, plug in your cell phone, GPS, or iPod, and let your kinetic energy power up your gadgets while you walk. You can get an 80% charge in one hour through your own energy alone. Green and brilliant.<br /></span></i><br />The device is at least 8" if not 10" long. So if we don't carry a briefcase or bag where are we supposed to carry it? Is this an innovative way of spurring the economy by forcing everyone to buy a briefcase? If not, then I guess we can tie it around our neck like a dog carrying a brandy carafe in the Swedish Alps? Maybe Godzilla can carry it in his shirt pocket. Or maybe I can carry it in my front trouser pocket. I'm sure all my male coworkers will be <i>green</i> with envy when they see my very <i>personal generator</i>. And I can just imagine any female coworker getting all <i>energetic</i> and <i>charged</i> up every time she sees me. No need to use AXE, no sirree. It is only a matter of time before the same product will be marketed as an aphrodisiac. Innovation, I bow before thee.<br /><br /><u>Flying Car : Terrafugia</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig389takIlPDirXv2im8ygd62mrxHyoi35D67zZUBTmtwjosjiIyG6eicZG1GOewEpmhy6HS_eGlL8KGMKtdBQ1ULcZXugnuoK1Kblz1Q3r7xzNZe8SLvunNR0msB_DasSp0dQySAbZOCa/s1600-h/flyingcar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig389takIlPDirXv2im8ygd62mrxHyoi35D67zZUBTmtwjosjiIyG6eicZG1GOewEpmhy6HS_eGlL8KGMKtdBQ1ULcZXugnuoK1Kblz1Q3r7xzNZe8SLvunNR0msB_DasSp0dQySAbZOCa/s400/flyingcar.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446417857242504754" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : Even though we are well into the 2000s, nobody has come up with a Jetsons-style flying car. Until now. The Terrafugia Transition is more of a driving plane than a flying car, but its a promising first step. The worlds first street legal plane hits runways and highways in 2010.<br /></span></i><br /><div>A car that flies. Exactly what we need. How about plane that drives? Otherwise known as "taxi-ing to the terminal". Seem familiar? Our tax dollars are ultimately being used for this innovation. Automobile companies have received bailouts and airlines are bound to any time now. So this company really has the best of both worlds. We don't need a freaking <span>flying car</span>. We need a cheap car and we need cheap airplanes. We need a car that actually runs on fuel cells which is cheap and does not explode. No wait. That was innovation a few years back. Whoever said all the money spent was supposed to amount to anything practical?<br /><br />What we really want today is to reverse out of our garage, crash through the neighbor's fence, take off, skate across the roof of a nearby house shredding some of the shingles, and then make a beeline for Las Vegas without needing to inform Air Traffic Control. Yup. That has to be it. Currently, we <span>have to drive our car to the airport, park our cars, and then sit in a plane which then takes off. So boring. Imagine getting out of a Starbucks drive thru and getting a phone call from your dear friend in Nepal to attend his wedding atop Mount Everest. No problemo. Just enter the closest interstate, 0 - 60 in 10 seconds, and simply take off! Marvellous!</span></div><div><br /></div><br /><u>Recompute : The Cardboard Computer</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMWtDjcF0pzwEowPd5jAboYiYt8q8dLM_rT63XX3l5x_MILPaDzhDO00FnR-8ZEQNkRxIxpSr-Vt9GgRN0YgNGTWFDLkGX1HPyMB5bcDJEXonEFgC_yBQKex81m9r-6owGuMQ9rugSkCf2/s1600-h/cardboardcomputer.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMWtDjcF0pzwEowPd5jAboYiYt8q8dLM_rT63XX3l5x_MILPaDzhDO00FnR-8ZEQNkRxIxpSr-Vt9GgRN0YgNGTWFDLkGX1HPyMB5bcDJEXonEFgC_yBQKex81m9r-6owGuMQ9rugSkCf2/s400/cardboardcomputer.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446417989967251474" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : Cardboard is the new black. Legions of product made primarily of corrugated cardboard are hitting the market. This little beauty will benefit anyone who has ever broken that little sticker while changing out a sound card or adding memory to a CPU.<br /></span></i><br />Note to Self : Never hire anyone who says he / she works with a cardboard computer. Ensure said person does not live on the same continent as I so when his / her computer catches fire it won't spread beyond the coast to my house.<br /><br />Me so bad. Me know nothing. Don't I know cardboard is really more fire resistant than plastic? That plastic will melt before cardboard catches fire? Really? What I do know is if I see the plastic melting I'll turn the goddamn thing off. It is better than making it heat up more and then suddenly explode into flames much later. Now, do you know that you are not supposed to drink hydrochloric acid even though your stomach produces a fair amount of it? And it is possible to recycle plastic? And the real problem with recycling computers and all electronics is the electronic components within, not the casing? And those who assemble their own computers are just as likely to reuse the old plastic computer case as they are the cardboard one? Just checking.<br /><br />Me so bad. Me know nothing. Plastic is a petroleum based product! Shame on me for not thinking about the environment! And I should just ignore all the trees that will be cut down to make the cardboard computer. Not to mention, my TV stereo equipment, and maybe some day all cars on the road will also be made of cardboard. Why not? If cardboard can house electronics it can house pretty much anything. The inventor of the cardboard computer seems quite certain folks will ensure liquids don't come in contact with the computer. So why can't I assume owners of cardboard cars will make it a point not to drive when it is raining? Or make sure if they get into an accident, it is with another cardboard car? Anyone wanting to invest in my new venture can reach me at 1-800-Eat-Shit.<br /><br />Me so bad. Me know nothing. What about breaking the sticker when changing the sound card, eh? Eh?! Eh?!?! </div><div><br /></div><div>What about breaking something off when adding new memory to the computer, uh? Uh?! Uh?!?!</div><div><br /></div><div>What can I say? The picture of the computer shown comes with an on-board sound card and no external PCI slots visible anywhere. So this computer is <i>made to be thrown</i> unlike the traditional plastic (i know, i know, i suck) that are not that can actually be upgraded. The computer's motherboard will not be made of cardboard so I can break it the same way when it is housed in a plastic casing while adding memory to it. If I don't worry about breaking anything it is only because I know WTF I'm doing. I also don't worry about the person who cannot pee properly in the urinal pot which has a circumference of around 3 feet. If I did I would remove the urinal, have him pee directly on the wall behind and call it innovation. If I don't do that it is because I sorta assume anyone who says he can use a computer, also knows how to pee properly.<br /><br /><br /><u>2010 Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP8EX1lgPjF3QbxnFl48qXTMtZJxkiCh2JFDnb235vhHICSBHCOC_U55GIQmIK2HV43QXONKxB6wKMlSAw-LDtNdTv_fIfxhFQpmgU3smcYn8xVK1GReXUBk_0b6j73DQZATd5S8IPE5AV/s1600-h/mercedeslounge.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP8EX1lgPjF3QbxnFl48qXTMtZJxkiCh2JFDnb235vhHICSBHCOC_U55GIQmIK2HV43QXONKxB6wKMlSAw-LDtNdTv_fIfxhFQpmgU3smcYn8xVK1GReXUBk_0b6j73DQZATd5S8IPE5AV/s400/mercedeslounge.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446418075919622594" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : Tilt back in your leather lounge chair. Turn on the Satellite TV. Load your Nespresso machine with the finest coffee beans in the world, then take a photo of it all with your iPhone. Load the photo and to your Twitpic from the on-board Sony Vaio laptop. Did I mention that you can do all this while cruising down the interstate at 80 mph? Classy.<br /></span></i><br />I have three words for Brabus, Mercedes, Benz and Viano. In short, RFV. Recreational F****** Vehicle. They have been available for at least 30 years. If they didn't have Sony VIAO laptops, big screen TVs, iPhones, Satellite Transmission, etc. - not to mention Twits at Mercedes Benz who think they have some innovative product - in them, is because none of those things existed then. Okay, one correction. Twits existed then as they do now, but thankfully those who are bringing this innovation to the market were in diapers back then. As an aside, the Nes(tle Ex)presso POS - the acronym stands for Power Of Suggestion, you with a dirty mind - should not be lost on anyone.<br /><br />Is there anything more classy about driving your vehicle on the highway at 80 mph? Other than the fact that it is probably illegal 99% of the time? And it is surely not asinine for the twits who buy this product designed by other twits, to twit about it using the laptop or the iPhone while massacring innocent folks who are driving lesser vehicles, all the while watching movies driving at 80 mph? What? The twits are not driving you say? Someone else is? That someone is known as a chauffeur and can be hired by anyone, not just the twits. One has been able to do everything mentioned here in comfort of the backseat of the car today for quite some time now. And before you ask, coffee tasted just fine 30 years back and one didn't feel the need to take it into one's automobile for it to taste fine.</div><div><br /><br /><u>Touch Wood</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgumwugyqpxyCYOS6fSxTat29TxHUQRzsqANoVvYduKurgo7ddiOr2nVjhUGbQRWZFYW20LCm2Qrgsi1RzZM5cUmzAnjhwNgnqXTlQ5UqOtsMgXeCENEbAhWD0Vl4mefWBl2PmXqpL9EwQ1/s1600-h/touchwood.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgumwugyqpxyCYOS6fSxTat29TxHUQRzsqANoVvYduKurgo7ddiOr2nVjhUGbQRWZFYW20LCm2Qrgsi1RzZM5cUmzAnjhwNgnqXTlQ5UqOtsMgXeCENEbAhWD0Vl4mefWBl2PmXqpL9EwQ1/s400/touchwood.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446418321644059970" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : There is only one thing cooler than corrugated cardboard in technology. Its name is wood. The Japanese are leading a trend called Mori Girl (Forest girl), which aims to limit the use of plastic by using sustainable wood instead.<br /></span></i><br />Let's see. We are being told that wood is sustainable and plastic is not. We can keep on planting trees. We cannot keep on relying on petroleum based products. Or as far as the Japanese are concerned, they don't want to rely on plastic and rather rely on wood. Well, I have some news for all. The Japanese were the premier force in finished Electronics goods just like they are the major force in automobile manufacturing today. Indeed, they are still a very formidable Electronics manufacturing base in spite of China. Yours truly has a 1970 manufactured Sansui Amplifier made in Japan, that still sounds good like the day it was manufactured. It's casing is made of wood. I repeat. WOOD.<br /><br />TV's used to have wood casings too. Almost every damn Electronic gadget at one point or another used to have a wood casing. Even oscilloscopes in Science labs and Hospitals. Everyone moved away from wood because metal and plastic are more durable. Really? I obviously do not know WTF I'm talking about. Metal does not rot easily unless you put it out in the rain, and plastic doesn't period. But what if my electronic gadget gets wet. You tell me! You are the one with the gadget made of wood!</div><div><br /></div><div>A strong wood casing is also a heavy wood casing. Plastic and aluminum (which does not rust) are both strong and lightweight and work better and have therefore become the material of choice for such devices. Going back to wood is not innovation. It is different only to those who have weren't alive when wood was the rage to house Electronic devices. Now it is about being "cool" which is mostly a matter of being "different" or some politically incorrect or misconceived ideology that touts wood as being "green".</div><div><br />There is another take on this. It would seem the Japanese have finally wised up to the threat that is China. Look no further than the iPhone which is "Designed by Apple in California and Assembled in China". They are now banking on everyone upgrading to "wood electronics" and hoping it will take China some years to adapt their factories to adjust to this "green" movement. Or maybe they have some not so obvious insight regarding the abundance of plastic and scarcity of wood in China? I can see the Japanese Premier sending this wire to Obama :<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF66;">The Chinese are now the largest holders of US Treasuries and they are not a friendly regime. If they decide to summarily dump dollars onto the open market under the pretext of diversifying their foreign reserves, it will cause a severe inflationary spike in the US. If you want us to purchase more of your BS, err, I mean US dollars, kindly urge Steve Jobs to consider launching a more durable Wood iPhone diverting all new manufacturing orders and jobs to Japan. This will supplant the revenues lost by Toyota due to the recent scandal. In turn we will agree to keep the Toyota problems from getting resolved anytime soon (I'm not making this part up, am I?) and it will help your decrepit automobile industry to reassert itself.<br /></span><br /><br /><u>Tri-specs</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizkz67AQvh7h4gd3_3E6dFIXgXg8_ba2vkSgNgdAdKpQdYlWhNVfRsshZpPkjWm3MTTkFX6QG0L6MM8zdWFzNSwMc4xiq_DWTL_8FeocWFF4ml28GvJnqBp9A4eeJIYrkIr6Fy6bhSbhzV/s1600-h/trispecs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 331px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizkz67AQvh7h4gd3_3E6dFIXgXg8_ba2vkSgNgdAdKpQdYlWhNVfRsshZpPkjWm3MTTkFX6QG0L6MM8zdWFzNSwMc4xiq_DWTL_8FeocWFF4ml28GvJnqBp9A4eeJIYrkIr6Fy6bhSbhzV/s400/trispecs.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446418400647963602" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : You have your phone, your iPod, your headphones, and your wi-fi headset, in case you get a call. You have your sunglasses. You are ready to go or are you? What if you could pull on your shades and have all of the above, in one cool package? Enter Tri-Specs. They come built-in Bluetooth wireless headphones for an MP3 Player or cell phone, retractable earbuds, built-in volume control, and even voice control. For $200, you can be the coolest kid on the block.<br /></span></i><br />So what we are really saying here is that if one is thinking about buying shades or an MP3 player, <i>this</i> is the gadget to buy. And if you already have an MP3 player you pay for the shades and end up with an MP3 player you either don't need or either don't use. And if you had shades, then now you have another pair of shades with an MP3 player and you either don't need the other pair of shades or don't use them. Ain't that cool?<br /><br />The Sun's hurting my eyes, and I want to listen to music but can't because the battery is dead. Or I listen to music through another <span style="border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 102, 204); ">MP3 player</span> which I carry around as backup. No, of course not. You see the shades double as solar cells. No really. It can happen. Why not when anything is <i>possible</i> because it would be <i>cool</i> and <i>innovative</i> and all the <i>cool kids</i> are vociferously demanding it?</div><div><br /></div><div>So one stands in the sun all day so the battery will have enough charge when one is sitting on the sofa at home in the evening listening to music. With one's shades on, of course so that the overhead light doesn't hurt one's eyes. Just watch for it. The solar cell addition will be next innovation to this <i>Fraud</i>uct, err, I meant Product.<br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><u>Corrugated Carboard Laptop Case</u></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg07cZG1i1r58ndYUbJrOkz_WEckkvCVio8csB2RKTnNJwkn9vIL78Zuuey3q262ncROrGNRyv9yqzdEbf0yFIrx9nWG-hDZtK0mDS52Hk5DESA2lwCFD98yjdHtIUWER0TlkyPOTNSvvvl/s1600-h/laptopcase.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg07cZG1i1r58ndYUbJrOkz_WEckkvCVio8csB2RKTnNJwkn9vIL78Zuuey3q262ncROrGNRyv9yqzdEbf0yFIrx9nWG-hDZtK0mDS52Hk5DESA2lwCFD98yjdHtIUWER0TlkyPOTNSvvvl/s400/laptopcase.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446418500162880754" /></a><br /><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : </span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">If you are sick and tired of those cool-looking black leather laptop cases, rejoice! Giles Miller has designed a customizable cardboard box for that perfectly fits your little Netbook. You can even put your own logo on it. Take that, Targus.</span></i></div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know where to begin. Clearly, common sense has prevailed among those who have not (yet) rushed out to invent the cardboard laptop. Maybe they see a good reason for not doing so. Such as a cardboard laptop will not be able to handle the abuse resulting from being carried around, which a desktop does not have to bear, among others. Needless to say, that has not stopped someone who apparently is quite famous (Giles Miller ???) to be able to shove this fashion statement down the throats of hapless individuals such as you and me. This laptop bag is supposed to withstand check-in lines at the airport? No, of course not, you dodo! It is not meant to be used by folks who actually need to carry a laptop. This is supposed to complement the Gucci bags lugged around by yuppies!</div><div><br /></div><div>It is not often that words fail me, but this, sadly, is one of those times.</div><div><br />The need to be <i>different</i> - dare I say <i>cool</i> - is a virus spreading in some Generation X'ers and most Generation Y'ers costing the world untold zillions in productivity and natural resources. We need to spend our collective energies in devising - dare I say truly innovative - products that are required. <i>Required</i>, not craved. That is not to say the CD and MP3 players should never have been invented and we should still be running around with our 8-track tapes. No. However, it also doesn't mean one spends one's considerable intellect, simply attributed to one for being human, into devising a chair on which one can sit, eat, fart, watch TV, exercise, have sex, pee, sleep and finally die. But try telling that to the person who devised the shades with the MP3 player.</div><div><br /></div><div>Innovators (sic) will always figure out a away to fulfill any mandate you give them. Just because they <i>can</i> and not because they <i>should</i>, because they don't know the difference, and no one is telling them otherwise. The Audio CD, the DVD, the Bluray Disc all provide substantial improvements over their predecessors and offer obvious utility benefits. Cardboard Computer? Wooden Smart Phone? What next? Telephone handset in the heel of the shoe so we "Never leave the house without the cellphone"? The house is on fire and I have to run downstairs and dive into the shoe closet for the phone. I mean shoe. Err, I mean phone. Wait a second dumb-ass! You sleep with your shoe on your bedside table. I mean phone. No, I meant shoe. No, I mean please just shoot me!</div><div><br />And that brings me to the last product for 2010 that caught my eye. Or should I say poked my eye?<br /><br /><u>Apple Tablet</u><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYvZl2-tCR4vTSr3QP1QVkMERsJrFQ2vZxOOamEEd8vBEH2nwh9QAs8oCNSkgOO_3zfr0Mt1MKoXRe6EYFZbBO_J3ObK9W4W_phAehQxib9e_0MSSZulpw7NydPc_IjcB5el2Rx92VKI5R/s1600-h/appletablet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 272px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYvZl2-tCR4vTSr3QP1QVkMERsJrFQ2vZxOOamEEd8vBEH2nwh9QAs8oCNSkgOO_3zfr0Mt1MKoXRe6EYFZbBO_J3ObK9W4W_phAehQxib9e_0MSSZulpw7NydPc_IjcB5el2Rx92VKI5R/s400/appletablet.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446418583877987506" /></a><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">Marketing Bull : </span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;">It has always been tough to determine what Apple will put out in the next year. But this time, the anecdotal evidence seems to add up. Its safe to say you will see a touchscreen- based tablet Apple product that will both fight with Kindle for books and netbook manufacturers for small computing.<br /></span></i><br />iPod, iTouch, iPhone, iPad, iTablet, iKillMyself.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't get me wrong. I've grown to love my iPhone. It was a true innovation that enabled one to do stuff that was not possible before. Now however, we are just waiting for Apple to give us a new product.</div><div><br /></div><div>iPad! Really? When Apple comes up with a new product we - at least temporarily - forget all our problems. Economy is doing good. Apple stock goes up 20%, all stock indices go up 3%. I don't think anyone was as excited about the automobile or the airplane as we seem to be with the iPad or the iTablet.<br /><br />How thin do we need our TVs to be? I recall watching Total Recall when it felt so cool to see a window pane transform itself into a TV screen. Do we need that too? A wise man (or woman) once said something so simple yet so profound. "Necessity is the Mother of Invention". We <i>need</i> an iTablet like we <i>need</i> a LED TV, which is another way of saying we really don't. We don't <i>need</i> it. We <i>want</i> it. There's a big difference.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is a different kind of greed. Wasting intellectual capital and natural resources is not Capitalism anymore than being practical is Socialism. Progress of a civilization is to be guaged by how its advances have benefited mankind and not by the number of avenues of entertainment it has delivered. This is the reason other countries are eating our lunch and the American Dream is fast becoming a myth, assuming it even exists anymore. Our kids are more likely to live a China Dream or maybe an Irish Dream. You can say I'm biased but I would rather simply enjoy Irish Cream instead.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are a gluttonous society avariciously consuming all kinds of products we don't need. We used to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, the kind of greed that in fact used to be good. Now we are simply slaves to consumerism. I need another Tablet PC like I need a another Lobotomy. It would seem most folks out there are opting for it. I am not talking about the Tablet PC.<br /><br />If any Generation-Y'ers are reading this, I would like to point them to two truly innovative and un-cool products in recent years. Both deal with crap - and I mean that literally - and has made their inventors rich while benefiting consumers at the same time. The Water Free Urinal and the Low Flow Water Efficient Toilet. Okay. Go finish laughing. Come back when you are done.<br /><br />In the first product, the cost of the technology employed is more than offset by power wasted in sewage pumps for moving excessive waste in traditional setups. No water accumulation means a cleaner, healthier environment and non-stinky restrooms where disease is less likely to infest and spread. The second product conserves water too. No brand new factory required to manufacture it. It simply takes a proven product (we should know !!!) to the next level by applying some common sense and science. Science! A truly innovative concept it would seem to be in today's world. We should be happy some of the <i>geeks</i> and <i>nerds</i> and otherwise <i>uncool dweebs </i>among us worry about getting rid of all the crap - both literally and figuratively speaking - that all of us disgorge out daily, more efficiently, cheaply and cleanly.</div><div><br />We need to rewire our brains. A square bucket does not make it any easier to carry or dispense water. A triangular bathtub is not a comfortable way to sit back and relax after a hard day at work. A hexagonal commode will not lead to a more satisfactory crapping experience. Circular pieces of toilet paper will not help us to stay regular. It is high time we all woke up and recognized the smelly brown stuff that is being shoveled through all of our collective conscience and see it for what it really is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chocolate! Not.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div></span>Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947392248683310519.post-33324532523921290902009-10-24T08:58:00.074-05:002009-10-30T18:57:24.361-05:00The Lord Of The Puddings<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">This is part of a two-post blog entry.</span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Please click here for Part I : <a href="http://allergic2bullshit.blogspot.com/2009/10/scum-of-all-fears.html">The Scum Of All Fears</a>.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lost your job and no money in the bank?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">24 hour curfew?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Famine?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sudden bout of </span></span><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/agoraphobia"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Agoraphobia</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">? (thank you </span></span><a href="http://www.deankoontz.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dean Koontz</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Think of all the possible reasons you cannot get food. It shouldn't be too difficult. After all, you have, as we saw last week, been subtly conditioned to experience all kinds of Fear. Still, if you are experiencing trouble letting your imagination run wild, simply assume for a moment that food as you know it, is going to go out of style for a few weeks.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">What? No food! Oh, my God! What do we do? Fear not, My Dear. If you want to protect yourself from such a predicament, you can purchase Food Insurance from this insurance provider for a rainy day, literally and figuratively speaking.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Food insurance is not insurance. At least not the way most sane folk would interpret it, especially after reading all the marketing surrounding it. So to decide whether it is right for you, you have to use that part of your brain that you know does not exist. The part that would certify you to be legally committed to a mental institution. However, I ask you to find that part of your brain otherwise, the fun stops right here.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We live in interesting times. We fear everything, but mostly we fear losing our jobs in this economy. So this is how the logic (sic) goes. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If we lose our job, we will not have money to pay for food. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If we get food insurance then we will not have to worry about going hungry some rainy days in future. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">This totally explains why suddenly this guy decided to go on radio and tell me to buy food insurance, right? It had indeed been raining. What timing! Did I not get wet couple of days back on my visit to the grocery store? If I had had food insurance, I wouldn't have made the trip to the grocery store. I needn't have gotten wet! I'm such a moron. But that's quite enough about me. Let's talk about you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You, who? Who, you? You, who only makes enough money every day to feed your family. You, who has deemed Food Insurance as a must have. So, how do you manage to get Food Insurance? You use your credit card and run a debt to purchase food insurance. Simple!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Say you lose your job. Got food? Yup! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Hold on, now. What about your credit card bill? No problemo. Why? You see, you also have Credit Card Insurance that pays off your credit card balance in the event you lose your job. Marvellous!!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Just stop right there! How were you able to pay for Credit Card Insurance in the first place when all of your daily earnings went into buying food for your family? Why, you simply took a loan from the bank, of course. Genius !!!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I think I will end this particular thread of discussion lest one of you decide to shape-shift your way through the internet, emerge from my monitor, and whack me senseless. Besides, I need to take care of something urgently. So please excuse me for a minute or two. I'll be right back.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">October 24th, 2009, 1300 hours</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Honey!"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Yes dear?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"You know how you go to the grocery store every Sunday to buy us like, food and stuff? Like, those things that last us like, the whole week? Sometimes like, two weeks?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"What about it, dear?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Well, there's the good news and then there's the bad news. The good news is that we have Food Insurance and I didn't even know it. That really gives me a renewed sense of security."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Aw shucks! That was nothing, really. But perhaps you understand now why I didn't want you buying us Life Insurance and Health Insurance when we got married. I wanted to make sure we would be able to manage Food Insurance first. But what's the bad news?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"The bad news is if only you had told me sooner that what we have is actually food insurance, I could have have started a website that sold Food Insurance, like FoodInsurance Dot Com or FoodInsurance Dot Net. People everywhere would have bought Food Insurance from us because I don't believe there are many enterprises out there selling Food Insurance."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I don't get it, dear. You think we should start a special kind of grocery store?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"No, no. Of course not. We don't want to be selling food like any ordinary grocery store. Think Big. We should be selling Food Insurance. You see, because it's insurance, we can sell it for any price we want. Hardly any competition in the marketplace to speak off. Too bad we are not the first ones to the party. A few wives seem to have already told their husbands about it and they have been raking in the money online."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Oh dear! I'm so sorry. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Tut, tut, my love. I still adore you. And all is not lost. I've started putting together a business plan for our website - GroceryInsurance Dot Com. I have it all figured out. We will sell our Food Insurance in assorted colored backpacks that customers can chose instead of just red ones like those other guys. We can also sell it for $10 cheaper to begin with in order to jump-start our business. There is so much profit margin, it'll be but a blip on our balance sheet."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Oh my darling, you are so innovative! Wait till Mama hears this! Married a good for nothing nitwit did I, Dad? We'll show 'em!"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"When you call them to gloat, don't forget to mention they can buy Food Insurance from us if they are in the market for it. Tell them we'll give them a 25% family discount."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Yeah. Not that they deserve it after all the bad things they have said about you. I love you so much, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm...Kiss, Kiss, Kiss..."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I know, I know, I know..."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Okay I'm back. Where were we? Ah, yes. We had just finished discussing the need for Food Insurance in the larger scheme of things. Now, let's dive into the details.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Food Insurance is Gourmet Food. Lasagna. Beef Stroganoff. Ain't that cool?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Just picture this. Martians have invaded Earth. Utter destruction every where you turn. You and your family are sitting on the front porch of what was once your home. Your neighbor is in a similar situation. He's feeding his family out of a can of </span></span><a href="http://www.spam.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Spam</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. You pity him. If only he had Food Insurance like you. You take a bite of your Food Insurance and let out a sound of decadent satisfaction as the morsel rolls down your tongue, and into your belly as your neighbor watches you with envy. Your family looks at you with pride in their bosom and undisguised awe in their eyes. You are eating fresh delectable Gourmet Food while your neighbor is eating out of a can. All made possible because of Food Insurance.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Note to Neighbor : </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">When you finish feeding your family, can you please shoot me?</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And that's not all! The Martian siege continues for another 20 years. Now you are eating out of 10 inch cans of Gourmet Food provided by your Food Insurance, while your neighbor and his family have long perished. Really? Sure, anything is possible, no?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Food Insurance ships in special pouches that are vacuum sealed using space age technology. Food lasts for between 7 and 10 years. To maximize shelf life, all you need to do is store the food in a Cool Dry place with temperature around 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Let's make sure we got that. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Cool. Dry.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">One more time...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Cool. Dry.................Fire. Flood.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Okay, let's not get bored with the details. There are more important aspects to understand.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Food Insurance comes in 10 inch cans too, not just pouches. The 10 inch cans will last upto 25 years. Wow! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Note to self : </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Make sure you remember WTF you keep stuff you'll need after 25 years.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">What if your house is flooded? You cannot drive your car to the grocery store. No problem. Just swim to your Food Insurance. The bags are water proof (maybe), you see? My, oh my! Have they thought of everything or what? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">What if your Food Insurance floats away? Assuming you have reported the Food Insurance as a valuable asset when you obtained your Flood Insurance, you can always file a claim for it. Did you just see how two different kinds of insurance can protect against the loss of each other? Surely the brain child of a Nobel Laureate.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Say what? You don't have Flood Insurance? Darn! If only you had been smart enough to have purchased Flood Insurance as well after you purchased Food Insurance. Still, you did good. At least, you did purchase Food Insurance. You couldn't use it when you needed it, but that's not anybody's fault, is it? Having the foresight to have Food Insurance by itself stands you apart from a million other equally intelligent people who went with Termite Insurance instead. As a side note, if you are shopping for Termite Insurance, please be sure to ask whether they offer an option that covers your Food Insurance against damage from a Termite attack. It never hurts to be prepared enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We are digressing a little bit, so let's get back on topic. What if you open the pouch after 7 years and 1 day? Will the food have rotted by then? Hmmm..., let's see.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Did you store the food insurance in Cool Dry place? Yeah? How Dry? And how Cool? If your air conditioning went on the blink and you lived in Arizona, your home was a cool 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Awesome! You should probably eat the food a little earlier. Like maybe, immediately? And then don't forget to get more Food Insurance. So you kinda always have some Food Insurance. You know what I'm saying? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">By now you shouldn't have any doubts whatsoever it is highly recommended you never be without Food Insurance. What did you say? You sorta already do that? No! You lie! What you are doing now is buying food. You need to buy Food Insurance, you see? It's not the same thing. You don't get Food Insurance at your local grocery store. You get that from us and us alone! Don't forget that all the Fed money printing is going to cause hyperinflation at some point. You are thinking of buying Gold to preserve your purchasing power when that happens. But you cannot eat your Gold bars. Before food, and Food Insurance (of course) becomes impossibly expensive, it is an excellent idea for you to arrange for Food Insurance right now, so you can afford to eat 25 years hence.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>I would like to report I just tried hanging myself. Such is my luck, the rope snapped.</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Food Insurance also comes with bottled water, matches, heating stove, etc. A comprehensive solution for solving your food problem. Just add water and heat it. Several years after you purchase Food Insurance from us, you'll find out just how good we were. Are. Were? Are? And if for some reason, we don't measure up, you shouldn't be surprised if we have closed shop. Needless to say there will not be anyone around to share our liability. We are guaranteeing our food for at least 7 years, and while we haven't actually been in business for 7 years yet, we just happen to know a few people who claim to have had some experience storing food for 25 years. So you can trust us. What do you have to lose? Do you ever have any guarantee that your Health Insurance provider will not deny your claim? So surely you shouldn't hold us to a higher standard now, should you?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>I am happy to report, my efforts in the last 5 minutes, have finally met with success. What you are reading after this point is being typed by my ghost. </i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;"><span><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">October 24th, 2025, 2100 hours</span></span></i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">GroceryInsurance Dot Com has been a stupendous success, well beyond our dreams. We are Billionaires. We are eating dinner when our elder one makes a profound declaration.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Dad, Mom. I'm going to be rich like you anyways, so I've decided to drop out of Fale University."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"What!", I say, flabbergasted. If you think you can simply live off your inheritance, we are not going to leave you a dime!"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Relax Old Man. I don't want anything from you."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Oh yeah? What are you going to eat, then? You think I'm going to give you Food Insurance for free? Fat chance!", I thunder.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Dad! Calm down! I just want to follow in your footsteps. Be an entrepreneur like you and Mom. I've already registered the domain name Gasoline Insurance Dot Com. Me and my fellow dropout friend from Fale, Whosemorals R. Elastix, have come up with a plan to sell folks Gasoline Insurance. We will sell 10 gallons of gasoline in air tight tanks that can last upto 6 years without turning into tar."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">My ears perk up. "Tell me more, son. Tell me more."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"We know so many folks are worried about Oil Shock, <a href="http://www.peakoilinthenews.com/">Peak Oil</a>, Gulf Wars that will cause disruption of the oil supply. We did some market research using the customer list for GroceryInsurance Dot Com. We were overjoyed to find almost 100% of your customers are also interested in purchasing Gasoline Insurance. Has there ever been anything more of a sure thing?"</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Bravo!" I beam and hold my wife's hand. "We're so proud of you!"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"A chip of the old block", my wife says as she leans over and gives our son a peck.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"But that's not all, Mom. Junior has a business idea too."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I can barely contain myself. "Really! Lord, thank you for this day. Lay it on me, squirt!"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Well, I have decided to attend Scamford University. And also the topic of my research project for my Master Of Bullshit Degree", </span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">explained Junior. </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"If I'm successful, I think it will lead to a very profitable venture. Like Big Bro Bubba, I have also registered a domain name. NaturalGasInsurance Dot Com."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Brilliant!" me and my wife exclaim in unison. "People will never have to worry about not being able to light a gas stove again. Natural Gas reserves have been steadily declining over the years", I nod wisely. "You couldn't have chosen a more opportune moment to explore the possibilities".</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Our younger 'un looks a little perplexed. "What's wrong baby?" his Mom worries. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I think you misunderstand my intentions"</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, Junior says seriously. </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I was talking about designing an underwear with a built-in sound suppressor, odor blocker and high pressure compression chamber that can trap farts for a full 12 hours. So people can protect themselves against accidental public embarrassment."</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Herr <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/flatulence">Flatulence</a> and family have a very bright future indeed!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div>Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947392248683310519.post-91462207186978437402009-10-22T19:24:00.048-05:002009-10-30T18:31:15.310-05:00The Scum Of All Fears<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Basest of all human emotions.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Justification for committing genocide.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Excuse for overthrowing governments.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Reason for starting wars.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Grounds for sanctioning assassinations.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Instrument for spreading terror.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. Tactic for controlling populations.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">More prevalent today than its main competitors, namely, love, hate, happiness and sorrow, Fear peaked a few years back when our lives became increasingly </span></span><a href="http://www.terror-alert.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">colorful</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Yellow, Orange, Red, etc. While the fear index may have dropped from its all time high set in recent history, it's exploitation has not abated much if at all. I fear - pun very much intended - it may be on the upswing, but not for reasons you might expect. Why do I think so? Read on.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear, of falling sick? Or Fear not having Health Insurance?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear, of wrecking your car? Or Fear not having enough liability coverage?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear, of death? Or Fear leaving your family saddled with debt?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear, of not being able to provide required health care to your patients? Or Fear the rising cost of Malpractice Insurance?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">How do we fight Fear? Through it's antidote in modern society, namely, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Insurance</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">No sooner you mention in passing you are worried about </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">something</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, you can bet your behind someone is already peddling insurance to protect from or against </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">that something</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. The less widespread the Fear, the more unregulated it's insurance peddlers. Until marketing makes the Fear more prevalent at which point, the attention turns to the Next (Big) Fear, which dooms us to beget insurance for it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Spend Spend Spend. Incur more debt. Buy more Life Insurance and </span></span><a href="http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/smartspending/archive/2007/10/23/take-a-pass-on-credit-card-insurance.aspx"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Credit Card Insurance</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sue Sue Sue. Incur more liability. Buy more </span></span><a href="http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/16/malpractice-insurance-protecting-yourself-against-your-patients/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Malpractice Insurance</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fire Fire Fire. Buy Unemployment Insurance (Gotcha! You were thinking Hazard Insurance weren't you? Heh heh heh)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Buy a 10-bedroom house with no money down. Buy </span></span><a href="http://www.themoneyalert.com/mortgageinsurance.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Mortgage Insurance</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Too rich for your own good and/or residing in unfriendly countries? Buy K&R - </span></span><a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-7060-Insurance-Industry-Examiner~y2009m8d24-Insurance101-Kidnap-and-ransom-insurance"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Kidnap and Ransom</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> - Insurance, </span></span><a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-7060-Insurance-Industry-Examiner~y2009m8d24-Insurance101-Kidnap-and-ransom-insurance"></a><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I kid you not.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Fear. The Fuel used for combustion in the Vehicle that is Insurance, driving us down the road often traveled, for the sake of making a quick buck.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"You <i>Conservative</i> Prick! You Insurance Industry Hating <i>Liberal</i>! You <i>Independent</i> Asshole! How dare you tell me not to protect myself with insurance? I'm going to need my Senility Insurance someday, you bastard!". </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Puh-lease</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. I have nothing against insurance or buying insurance for the right intents and purposes. I have all kinds of insurance myself. I even know people who are in the insurance business. To the best of my knowledge, the ones I know personally are mostly God-fearing people. The remaining fear others in their life, such as myself, slapping them silly if they do something wrong. Besides, I haven't even said much if anything, yet. And now seems to be as good a time as any to clarify my position.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In my last blog I didn't have nothing against Yoga. Likewise, I have nothing against Insurance. Then, I was simply trying to enlighten folks about </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (ahem) </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Instructors</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Now, I'm trying to contribute toward yawl making an informed decision regarding something else. </span></span><i><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/capiche"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Capiche</span></span></a></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Confession time. Recently I canceled my Termite Insurance. Yup. I got scammed, but it lasted just two months. Honest! You see, I thought I was buying </span></span><a href="http://insects.tamu.edu/extension/bulletins/l-1785.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Termite Protection</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. What in blazes was I thinking? Silly me. I had pondered thus :</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">* I retain a company which employs experts in all things Termite. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">* I pay a premium monthly, quarterly, annually, whatever so they'll come to my house monthly, quarterly, annually, whatever and give my house a clean bill of health. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">* The idea is to ensure - not insure (sic) - my house is not being attacked by Termites. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Is the above a novel concept? Turns out most think it is. These days, we are seldom interested in doing anything preventive. The potential victim simply buys insurance. The insurance provider gladly takes the money but without any liability.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"You are wrong! We at <i>Termites For Us</i> are the smartest bunch on the planet. Our staff collectively has 5000 years of experience in the Termite, Insurance, and Termite Insurance (Ding Dong!) industries. </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> don't know what </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> want. </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> know what </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> want. Here are but a few of the many facts regarding Termite Insurance you need to know :</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. Most homes do not get attacked by Termites. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. Most of you are ignorant fools who don't know most homes are not attacked by Termites. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. We know better than to sell Termite Insurance in areas where Termites have been known to infest.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. Most of you do not drive your cars into a wall because you have Comprehensive Collision and Liability Coverage. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">5. Most of you (Yours Truly not included at the moment) are not considering committing suicide because you have Life Insurance (again Yours Truly excluded as of this moment, if that means anything to anyone).</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">6. Given your predilection toward not destroying your insured Car and insured Life, we expect all of you with IQs greater than 20 will take preventive measures against a Termite attack on your house. 99% of those with IQ less than 20 will ask others to do it for them.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So next time please be careful what you say. Don't judge us unfairly if we don't know a little thing or two such as how to prevent Termite manifestations. Okay?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If you pay a service provider to take care of something and that person does not do the job properly, or causes any kind of damage to your person or property, then the service provider is liable to provide you compensation. In this situation, it is the service provider who's in need of liability coverage and not you, the service consumer. A good example is a Doctor who has Malpractice Insurance. Whether you have Health Insurance or not before you visit the Doctor is irrelevant.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If you carelessly or deliberately ram your car into another, your Comprehensive Collision Coverage enables you to get your car fixed, while your Liability Coverage attempts to cover any damage incurred by the other party. Providers of these kinds of insurance are regulated - at least to some degree. Or at least one hopes so. We expect some kind of accountability from either party and we don't need to get into whether this accountability spans things moral and/or legal. A much more interesting question to ask is, how do we reconcile this accountability for an insurance (sic) such as Termite Insurance?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Termite Insurance providers have no real liability. In the worst case, their liability is capped to the extent of damage caused to the house by termites. The moment you see damage, you are going to call them, right? You are not going to wait till your entire wall collapses. The damage to their pocket is hence limited to the cost of repairs. You cannot sue your Termite Insurance company. They never promised your house will not be attacked by Termites. If Termites caused a hole in your wall, they will pay (I hope) to repair the hole in the wall. If it's winter and snowing outside and some member of your family gets frostbite, that's your problem not theirs. If someone you invited to dinner gets frostbite then you may be in the market for "Ungrateful Neighbor Insurance" in case you think you might get sued.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So do you think you need Termite Insurance? I don't know. You decide. Meanwhile, why don't we examine something a little more palatable? How about Flood Insurance? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It has been raining incessantly and abnormally where I live the last few days. The county I live in hasn't seen any flood in the 15 years that I have lived there. However, earlier this week on my drives to work, I couldn't but help hearing commercials for Flood Insurance during news breaks on the radio. Coincidence? Or someone trying to pray on people's fear of a Flash Flood because of the rains? That wasn't a stretch; warnings for surrounding counties had been popping up regularly during local evening news shows on TV. It is a business after all, so we might very well excuse them for their opportunistic peddling.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">However, after 3 days, I started getting increasingly irritated by the commercials. And I have to admit, the source of my displeasure could simply have been the talk show host himself endorsing this insurance provider. My irritation gradually turned into curiosity. I decided to find out who was trying to sell Flood Insurance to folks such as myself. I wanted to make a mental note never to do business with them. Much to my chagrin, I discovered I had misheard the commercial. The bozo on radio was not selling Flood Insurance. He was raving about Food Insurance.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Did you get that? I didn't make a typo. F****** FOOD INSURANCE!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>Continued in </i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>Part 2 : <a href="http://allergic2bullshit.blogspot.com/2009/10/lord-of-puddings.html">The Lord Of The Puddings</a></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>, now available.</i></span></span></div><div><br /></div>Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947392248683310519.post-9420708162480668682009-10-10T13:09:00.199-05:002009-10-21T18:15:11.330-05:00Yoga - The New Four Letter Word<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga, Yoga</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="white-space: pre;"><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></span></i></span><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yank My Toga</span></span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Bend awkwardly</span></span></div><div><span style="white-space: pre;"><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></span></i></span><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And Say..."Aloha"?!</span></span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#FFFF00;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga </span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">is a four letter word. I'm serious. Check it out for yourself. </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Y</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">o</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">g</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">a</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. Four letters. While it does not gratify the (same) senses as the <i>original</i> four letter word, namely, </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">F***</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">, </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> nonetheless, is to me, increasingly beginning to sound like an expletive.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">One who practices the <i>original</i> four letter word is known as a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">F*****</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. That's six letters. Let me at this time humbly beg your forgiveness for not spelling out both the </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">F</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-words. A thousand apologies if I made it hard for you to count the </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">*</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">'s, especially with the font I'm using. But what could I do? This is a family website.</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Oh-kay.</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Let's continue. One who practices </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">, is know as a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yogi</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Y</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">o</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">g</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">-</span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">i</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. Four letters. Again! See? I couldn't make this up even if I wanted too!! It's a conspiracy!!!</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Over the years, quite a few inventions, philosophies, ideologies, etc., have been touted as the next big thing, saviors of mankind, whatever. Today, </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> seems to be rivaling the best of the best of such ideas. It is a universal craze. When some idea becomes so prevalent, it inevitably ends up becoming a buzz word. Buzz words are not allowed to leave anyone behind, oh no. Everyone has to have an opinion about <i>it</i>, else one is not considered to be part of the <i>Club</i>. What <i>Club</i> is that, you ask? I'm finding it a bit tough to come up with good name at the moment. I certainly don't want to call it the "Gathering of People with no life at Starbucks". I like Starbucks. So let me quite simply call it @#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!.</span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;"><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Low self esteem issues? Do Yoga!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Having problems in your marriage? </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQuZFhP7-44"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga for Sex</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Yeah right!!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lost your Job? Why not do Yoga? Hey, better yet, become a <i>Yoga Instructor</i> !!!</span></div><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div></span></div></span></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">During the Dot Com era, Dry Cleaners were offering Stock tips to their customers. Gas Station Attendants were turning IT Recruiters for companies trying to peddle crap on the Internet and, if I might add, to their shareholders. Today, your Barber will likely enlighten you with his knowledge of some </span></span><i><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/asana"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Asana</span></span></a></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> that will help relieve the crick in your neck. Never mind it was he who caused the crick in the first place when he casually nudged your head sideways against your unspoken protests, while pretending to trim the hair atop your bald spot.</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Now before all you </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yogaphiles </span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">get your undergarments twisted up in a bunch, let me fess up. I do not understand </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. That's right. I honestly do not (completely) get it. What's more, I go to a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> class and I don't hate it. Really. I might even like it. I am just not quite sure yet. I don't even know - or care, frankly - if it is indeed </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> that I'm learning. What I do know is I don't have to drag myself to the class once a week. What I will also tell you is at an earlier point in time, I had tried other <i>Yoga</i> classes. As you can probably guess, they all sucked most intensely.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">I know, I know. </span></span><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">"How can he say those Yoga classes weren't legit when he is admitting he does not understand Yoga?"</span></span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">, some of you are fuming. Why do I know? There is a perfectly good reason. While I might electrocute myself trying to setup my home theater system, or flood the house trying to fix a leaky faucet, I do know the difference between an Electrician and a Plumber. I believe I have the requisite IQ to distinguish between a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructor</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> and a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Bullshit Artist</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">I have nothing against </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. No, really. That would be hypocritical. One shouldn't have anything against something that one does not understand. </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">? Well, those are offspring of a different beast altogether. </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> I know. Oh yeah. And you should know 'em too. Who are </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">they</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">? </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">They</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> are those Barbers, Gas Station Attendants, etc., who know they get paid helluva more by passing themselves off as </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">, than what they were making in their previous occupation. The risk - barrier to entry into the upper echelons of the </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Club</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> - is low. The reward - recognition as a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Spiritual Being</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> - is high. </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">They</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> are no different than Stock Brokers shoving bad investment advice down our throats</span></span><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">, thereby turning us into hapless </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">clients</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. $10 per class, 10 people per class, class lasts for an hour equals $100 per hour. Do you make $100 per hour? Think about it.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">The problem with fads is that you have to take the good with the bad. Some <i>real</i> Dot Com companies exist today. Those that were crap rightly and eventually got flushed down the toilet. Don't know how long that'll take with </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. Perhaps never, since at least as of today, </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">do not trade on the stock exchanges and don't look like going bankrupt anytime soon</span></span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. Wonder if anyone has tried flushing them down the toilet though. Just a thought.</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So given you want to learn <i>Yoga</i>, you have to waste some mental collateral when choosing your </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructor</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. I am naturally suspicious of </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Professional Yoga Instructors</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Were the clients of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Madoff">Bernie Madoff</a> able to recognize his abilities as a Professional Money Manager? Hell, no. So what makes you think you have any special talents in spotting a bona fide <i>Yoga Instructor</i>? You really don't.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In all honesty, <i>that</i> is perhaps why I like my current </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructor</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. He is a highly placed official at a Bank. He does not need to teach <i>Yoga</i> for a living. Maybe that's why I implicitly trust him. Maybe that is why when he delivers profound instructions such as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><i>"Breathe deeply through nose"</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, I give him the benefit of doubt. I don't go, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;"><i>"WTF? Have you tried to breathe deeply through any other hole in your body? It is distinctly uncomfortable!"</i></span>.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">As an aside, there are perfectly good reasons why at times, I don't wanna breathe deeply through my nose in <i>Yoga</i> class. Here's one of them.</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7ADPTQoGYIuQ8ddwY7BRs2io_cclr6fzCqc_O6GXIzUxx_24lbYm_hskCP3QZcSrQX1BucQjsUHXmXaEM0GbXoQmwTDPcIdrqBXW3tC2Vn667Qd02P5voga-WNnF1JD9MdI7Gw1ifO0t/s400/Inhale.png" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 327px; height: 216px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392258020108651586" /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">That is not to say all </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Professional Yoga Instructors</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> are bad. In fact, I know a couple myself who really believe in their craft and have spent several years, from a young age, learning and practicing <i>Yoga</i>. They are good friends, but neither is my <i>Yoga Instructor</i> since they live inconveniently away. The point is, you are better off finding a <i>Yoga Instructor</i> by word of mouth. Don't blindly sign up for a class at your local </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yoga Center<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> with just anyone.</span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Here's one hint you may have made a mistake with your <i>Yoga Instructor</i>. Say if your class lasts for an hour, and you are spending 45 minutes doing breathing exercises, err, sorry taking<i> Yogic Breaths</i> (hah! learned something new didn't you?) and making weird sounds, err, I mean </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Aum</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> ॐ, the next 10 doing neck exercises, and the last 5 trying to touch your feet, chances are quite high you have been had.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">So here's my tribute to all - well most - </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga Instructors</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. NOT!</span></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Note to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68V3Rut_EQ">David Letterman</a> : Please do not use these on your TV show without my permission, or you'll just end up having to come clean about something else to your fans other than your sexual escapades.</span></span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">The Top 10 Reasons Why NOT To Take a <i>Yoga</i> class</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">10) Only midgets don't have trouble touching their feet.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">9) You might end up being the butt of jokes on a Penn & Teller's Bullshit episode.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">8) If you fall asleep during the class no one will wake you up.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">7) You'll trade relief from back and neck pain for stomach ache.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">6) Aren't software developers from India quite enough?</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">5) Who wants to stay on the Mat all the time?</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">4) You cannot <i>check out</i> each other when your eyes are closed most of the time.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">3) You can learn to hum </span></span></span><i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aum">Aum</a></span></span></span></i><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> ॐ in the proper key much better in your shower.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">2) What? Just because you were too wimpy to do push-ups?</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">... and the number 1 reason why NOT to take a </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"> class ...</span></span><br /></div><div><span style="color:yellow;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">1) The good looking chics are in the Aerobics class.</span></span></span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">And a final word to all </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Me-Too-Yoga-Wanna-be's</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. Just because someone makes you bend and twist your body in interesting ways, does not mean it's </span></span><i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Yoga</span></span></i><span style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">. In fact, there may be something seriously wrong with it. Ask this guy when he can hear you.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ycZXIceIg7RIlZoYLbhynVVkO0qXtoeJwKnG1mNMH9_h3ryhhi8LPL5hnHtYWJcns2oyxIPJZl7NB8jMnXya-J4btc7JdEsPAPqgExbAvotj6h_WwMsYHzhunTM1Vx7vjymU4mqyvPxM/s400/twisted.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 307px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392263370776019250" /></span></div><div><span style=" ;font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:small;">Be careful out there. <i>Yoga Instructor</i> lurking round the corner.</span></span></div>Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947392248683310519.post-87834738790241606972009-10-09T19:36:00.112-05:002009-10-11T11:19:31.447-05:00Speculating in the Stock Market<span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div><br /></div>All of you out there are hell bent on speculating in the stock markets. Or at least you think you are. Please start using your Kidneys.</span></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The 3 P's OF SPECULATION</span></span></span></span></b></span></div><div><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#3366FF;"><b><br /></b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span">Note I said 3P's. Right now yawl are only focusing on 2P's, rather continually doing PeePee or PooPoo. Stop wasting water and toilet paper. As they say, when you are looking to buy a house...Location, Location, Location. Similarly, when you are Speculating...Probability, Probability, Probability.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span">The Probability that a stock is going to go up has a lot more to do with the sector it is in rather any fundamental (alleged) improvement in the prospects of the underlying company. Remember the Technology, Real Estate/Financial bubbles? Recognizing the bubble early and then getting onto the bandwagon - that's key. That's how the easy money is made.</span></span></div><div><span><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br />HOW TO SPECULATE</span></span></span></span></b></span></div><div><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#3366FF;"><b><br /></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">Are you perceiving a Technology bubble anytime soon? No? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">Then WTF are you buying a stock like EXBX.OB?<br /><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">Are you perceiving a Real Estate/Financial asset bubble? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">Now? Really? Of course not?<br />Then WTF are you thinking of buying FNM or FRE or CITI?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br />Are you thinking people are worried about keeping their jobs?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">Or keeping their cars looking clean in this environment? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;">WTF are you bottom fishing in SPNGE.OB then?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Let's examine a recent bubble - Energy. Or Oil. Take your pick. This bubble culminated when price of oil reached around $147. When the bubble burst, in less than 7 months price of oil was around $37. Now the price of oil is around $70. Are we back in a bubble? Or is there a fundamental reason that oil is now 100% up from its lows? You tell me.</span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390767780789514146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3b4hcYBNf5AukkOUe64gKpeZ03JKGJhY5_fQV5egqnnemSEQR-97hRHf8SfIJpqCwwhM-ozOvDAzz2foY0Qtkx2Cbze2Uu3URo9S75EPJfqhxX64RHm6sxWabsybRL3pgjJtWIMlQPh13/s400/ScreenHunter_02+Oct.+09+19.47.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 243px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Wait! Wrong freakin' question. Why? Because none of you are capable of doing Fundamental Analysis or Experts in Geopolitical Science or understand concepts of Peak Oil. The best you can do is Funda</span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">MENTAL ANAL</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ysis. And that is simply not good enough.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The easy money has already been made by those champion Speculators who tried their luck when Oil bounced off $37. Whether they were Lucky, or Good, or both is irrelevant. </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> have doubled their money and </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> are out. You want to speculate on Oil? Ask yourself what is the Probability it will reach $140 and how long are you prepared to wait for that to happen? Not to mention $70 is not exactly chump change. If you are not in early, you will be left holding the basket. BASKET. An important concept I will revisit. If you are late getting in, you will always get burnt. I know someone who has less hair than me (but claims otherwise) has been making a career of it, lately.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Trying to bottom fish like </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Those </span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">investors did when Oil was at $37 last year, is certainly one way to go. Doing so without any rhyme or reason has a high Probability of failure not success. Whatever prompted one to get into Oil at $37, simply Hoping it will now go up another 100% to 140 based on the alignment of the Planets is madness.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So then, what has started to go up, now? Look!! It is Gold! Finally! All time high! </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">That</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> is how bubbles begin. Higher highs beget higher highs. Something is always going up, until it stops going up. Gold seems to have finally turned.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Now ask yourself one question? "Do I feel lucky?" Well do you, Punk?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">For you too make 100% on your investment, GLD which is currently around $100 has to reach $200. In other words, Gold Bullion has to sell for $2000 an ounce. If that happens GDX - the basket of the biggest and baddest Gold Miners - might triple to $150 from where it is now. But ask yourself - What is the Probability? And how much time do I want to wait for my guess to come true? More importantly, why do I say if GLD doubles in price, GDX might triple in price?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">WHAT TO SPECULATE WITH</span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></span><span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The real question, however is more basic. Do you buy the Underlying Asset or the Enablers for That Asset?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ9LwqRpg40vXyQqeN9SVn2SAadjE3zZpH8IBOtQuyKdB_9Cr_Rph2CkLY8384DU7HwqRjE4ec0LkZXBR837bKx8H_hLzTEQjyGVnB2jibPKp7oE3LysKN686wTH68DCWT81YkaaZuFCAp/s400/ScreenHunter_03+Oct.+09+20.17.gif" alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390774779946837778" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 253px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">During the Tech bubble stocks of companies providing the infrastructure i,e. CSCO went up 10 times, i.e. 900%. Those who bought CSCO switches and started </span></span></span></span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">www.AllYouSuckersAreGoingToLoseYourShirt.com</span></span></span></span></span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> went up 100 times, i.e. 9900%! Hard to believe? Only because hardly any of those companies exist anymore. Look at EBAY split adjusted moving from pennies to over $25.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390777325330067666" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ILljZ1pXJuLXmNg0sI3bgpKh4tRzTvbhORkCWQq8Wqx8xDkmp7XZ6oVF_Ad9yI_yvx0XHo7qMitH5Ctb9gnNRnPPQ6TODX4cOVbNGU0mxwjTNINlBVZ5-z5Jk4xC4pytcwq0lFLfN_Qw/s400/ScreenHunter_04+Oct.+09+20.28.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 254px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">During the Energy Boom while oil tripled to near $150, the stock GROW - which runs mutual funds that predominantly invest in energy stocks all over the world - went from under $5 to $75 - 1400% !!! Don't believe me? Look at the split adjusted chart for GROW.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390779538378416034" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyH0T-48IX-_dfMgccQjb_XIarPB5_MNjShUZKgmaS_3cJS405dL14UZe6-H-4FpBiZ84aM6B_7gcC156l6-PTNrYQzGY7kmkKB9uxIMy6t3eX6ycbpkr9-xCahl1MgRkh2jTsxD8QR5pn/s400/ScreenHunter_05+Oct.+09+20.35.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 251px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So do you buy GOLD or do you buy those who </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">DELIVER GOLD</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The answer should be clear. Look for .PK and .OB stocks of Gold Miners that are trading in pennies, NOT the Gold Miners whose stocks make up GDX. Instead of buying 10000 shares of stock trading at 10 cents for a cost of $1000, buy 1000 shares of 10 stocks each trading at average price of 10 cents. You are risking the same amount of money. </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Trade The Basket</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. The Probability of the basket doubling is way higher than the prospect of the 1 stock you end up speculating(?) on doubling. There is speculation, and then there is </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Speculation</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">YOUR PLAN OF ACTION (POA)</span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style=" font-weight: 800;color:#3333ff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; white-space: pre; "> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"></span>1) Go to your favorite financial website that let's you screen stocks in a particular sector. Search for Gold Miners in your desired price range depending on how much money you want to speculate with. For example, if you want to buy 10 stocks, make sure you generate enough, say, 100 names.<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>2) Print the names of say 100 stocks out on a 10 x 10 matrix in an excel spreadsheet.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3) Take a pencil/pen in your hand, poise it over the piece of paper, look up, close your eyes, let your hand drop on </span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">the printed paper, look down and open your eyes to see the square where it landed. Mark that square. Repeat 9 more times.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4) Buy 1000 shares of each of the 10 stocks you randomly selected in step 3.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">5) Pray.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">6) Pray some more.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">7) Pray not only to your God but at least two other Gods preferably from religions different than your own. If you are an Atheist, pay someone else to pray for you. Mentally include that payment in your cost basis as commissions you paid on your stock purchases.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Depending on what happens next, follow either 8) or 10)</span></span></span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">8) If your portfolio doubles OR if it reaches your desired non-greedy profit level, sell ALL. Repeat. SELL ALL. Don't apply funda</span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">MENTAL ANAL</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ysis and sell some stocks and not others in the basket. ALWAYS TRADE THE BASKET. SELL THE BASKET. Remember </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Basket</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">? Never get left holding </span></span></span></span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Basket</span></span></span></span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">9) Check out which sector has taken the lead in the time you have been holding those stocks. </span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.finviz.com/groups.ashx?g=sector&v=210&o=name"><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Here's one possible way to run a screen</span></span></span></span></a><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Repeat starting at Step 1 with the new sector, or even with the same one if it has still sustained leadership. You can start with the original principal say $1000, or try to compound your </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Probability of Success</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, otherwise known as </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Luck</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> with the $2000, assuming 100% profit met your greedy expectations. (Note: Sophisticated Speculators will make sure they set aside some of the gains to pay taxes).</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">10) If you lost the game, then STOP </span></span></span></span><i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Speculating</span></span></span></span></i><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. You were never Good to begin with. And now you have found out you are not Lucky either. Continuing to play is not Speculating. It is Stupidity. At some point, you simply have to get out of the Game. I have.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><b>FINAL THOUGHTS</b></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><b><br /></b></span>You increase your Probability of success by following a System. A System such as the one laid out in the POA above. The System itself is not important. What is important is that you have one.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br />The definition of Probability itself assumes that the outcomes over which probability is measured are individually independent, i.e. outcomes are random and no special circumstances existed that influenced any of the outcomes which can stack the deck when Probability is calculated. A coin with two Heads will have a 100% probability that betting on Tails will fail - clearly a stacked deck. That's why we call them Random outcomes. If you don't follow a System, then you are indeed doing some fundaMENTAL ANALysis and need to have your brain examined. You are now trying to follow some warped logic or reasoning aka wishful thinking that the stock you buy will actually go up. That is NOT Speculating.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br />In The Shawshank Redemption, Morgan Freeman tells Tim Robbins, "HOPE is a dangerous thing". Tim Robbins counters, "HOPE is a good thing". Morgan Freeman was right. Tim Robbins was wrong. It was a movie. Only in a movie can someone make it through a mile of crap and come out in the rain smelling like shit, looking like shit, but worth a million bucks. You live in the real world. Your deodorant prevents you from smelling like shit. But you will never have a million bucks and trust me, you will feel like shit!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br />HOPE is indeed a dangerous thing. HOPE is why Mo buys EXBX.OB at 21 cents and HOPES it will go to $1. When that does not happen. Mo then thinks of buying more EXBX.OB at 1 cent again HOPING if it goes up to just 10 cents, he will recover all his money. What was the Probability to begin with that EXBX.OB would go from 20 cents to 1 buck - an increase of 400%? And what is the Probability now EXBX.OB will go from 1 cent to 10 cents - an increase of 900% ?! Get real. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">STOP HOPING. You thought you were Speculating all this time? You were NOT! You were HOPING.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br />START SPECULATING !!!<br /></span></div></div>Vintage Freakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16558968937703317814noreply@blogger.com2